The Last Op - Those Poplins Are A-Popping

Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys... We've been fighting this war for far too long. It's been seven years. I repeat, seven years! That is longer than the great war itself lasted. This is no "great war". There is no more "war". We have already won. We've beaten down the enemy and now it's time to take them out completely. We'll take them out by the root! Watch them squirm as their tyranny over all that is natural and flowing ends. This, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls... THIS IS... THE LAST OP!

Colonel Mind enters the room. "Alright soldiers! Are you ready?" There is an enthusiastic yell in reply: "Yes, sir!"

The Colonel continues. "Welcome privates. This is the last op, codename: 'The Last Op'. There are no losers here! There is no failure here! The enemy must be surrendered, chased out and barred out so that it may never return. We must not only kill them but we must send them to the hell they belong to; a hell so harsh and so trecherous. There is no escape, resurrection or reincarnation from this hell. It is a bottomless pit. No "Dante" shall return from this inferno. Are we clear?"

"Sir. Yes, sir!"

"Okay. Gather up, victors!"

"Yes, sir!"

"Immune system?"

"Sir!"

"Lungs? Heart? Nervous system? Bladder?"

"Sir, yes sir!"

Colonel Mind calls in all the rest of the recruits too. Everybody is present and ready. He reports to General Soul, who enters the room from the door behind him to check on the preparations. "All is in order sir, we're ready. Any final requests?"

A strong and commanding voice answers. "Just one thing. Win! Colonel Mind, your Body army must win this battle and align themselves with you and me. I'm not accepting anything less. Victory is our success. We've come far. Now, lead your army, man!"

"Yes sir. I'll send out the men."

General Soul leaves the room, but everybody knows that his presence remains.

Colnel Mind continues. "Although everybody will have a different role here, I need you all to work in unison. We are one whole. Any of us alone is useless! We will also be getting help from a few private agents. Multivitamin, Anti-Biotic and Anesthetic. At the end of it all, a body of judges called 'The Doctors' will examine the situation to establish the winners. I want no mistakes here. These judges in white coats are difficult to please and we don't want to keep them around for too long to think about it. The longer they think about it, the greater the chance that our enemy will return. Got it?"

"Yes, sir. Got it! Clear as crystal!"

"Make that the expensive crystal clear real crystal! Good, we're thinking together. I need Heart and Immune System on the defense line. Nervous system - you'll warn us if anything goes wrong. Multivitamin will be coming in just to boost everybody up. He's very good at boosting morale in troops. The best of the best use him. As for Anti-biotic, don't trust him! He's a hired gun! Just let him get the job done and make sure he gets out. Having him around for too long is trouble, but he'll help you fight Infection off."

Anti-biotic walks in the room. He sneers and says: "I've been paid for a job. Once it's done, I'm out! Don't you worry about me." He stands besides the other soldiers.

"We'll also be inlisting the services of Anesthetic, he'll help us to contain Nervous System when it's required."

Nervous System shouts. "Contain me?!"

"Yes, man! We all know you're a squeeler. We'll let you come back when the time is right. We'll probably need Pain Killer to come over and hold your hand in the first phase however. More hired help! Another goal, soldiers! This is the last time we pay for hired help! Man up! Immune System? This is your department!"

"I'll do my best sir!" Immune System yells.

"Your best ain't good enough! You'll man up and get the bloody job done! Got it?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Sinuses! I need you to claim your territory! We know you'll fight off the enemy, but it's your job to barricade the area so they can never return. The objective, men, is to fight off Infection, kill the Poplins and any of their offspring as well as prevent them from ever returning. This is all in an effort to rescue our long lost friend, Smell. We need Smell back and those villians have captured him. Once successful, we'll rescue Smell and clear the tunnels so that Air can flow freely to Lungs. Objectives clear?"

"Clear as the passage between Nose, Mouth and Lungs will be once the Poplins have been obliterated, sir!"

"I like that! Good going men... And women! Now, after the operation, the judges will examine the battle. We are the victors! Show them that! We have five days! Save Smell! Clear Nose and Sinuses! Pop those bloody f*cking Poplins!"

"YES! YES, SIR!"

"Okay. Go out there!"

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This story was inspired by nasal polyps and asthma. Look them up. It's not pretty but the battle can be won!

The "Poplins" represent polyps. My friend coined the term. I liked it.

© Maja Dezulovic 2011